Thursday, January 4, 2007

A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

Dog Bed:
Any soft, dean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly, you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

Garbage Can:
A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right, you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves, and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. Let's not forget exiting via windows, chewing door frames and clawing every door in the house!

This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.
Sofas:Are to dog like napkins are to people. After eating, it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

Every good dog's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
Bump:The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

Goose Bump:
A maneuver to use as a lest resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require,....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.


Boo said...

hey sam,

my eyes got blocked by the beautiful painting and the rest is history... hehehe.

wet wet licks


Isabella said...

Sounds good to me!
Big Wags,

*Kyra* said...

Love it!

licks and wags ;)

ChotuAndTwinkle said...

funny! Woof!

Hammer said...

Hey Sam

Thanks for sniffing by. I do all the stuff you do. Us Gundogs can get into some mischief and we keep our mums and dads on their toes.

Yeah, we are a pair of good looking dudes, aren't we !!! We do look alike too. Hobson told me when he and mum were coming back from the shops last week, mum saw a dog in the back of a car out of the corner of her eye, and the head looked like an English Setter. So, she did a UUUey and headed after this car. She followed the car across 3 suburbs until she caught up with it, and guess who was in the back, a Weim like you.

My mum said to tell you the painting is beautiful.

Keep up the good mischief work.

Love from your mate, Hammer

Flossikens said...

Heyyy Sam (:

Thanks for the concern, about cheeky we all miss her heaps, espically the other bird Ralph, shes very lonely ):

How have you been? i havnt spoken to you in ages?

Lots of Love Flossy

Riley Dog said...

Boy, Sam, I sure am glad to know that other dogs understand the seriousness of thunderstorms. I bark and run around the house. Then I go an hide next to Mom and Dad's bed.

Sam Iam said...

I have seen some of your pictures and they are woderful,woof-woof

Lot's of Lick's

Sam Iam said...

I see that you have been doing some of the same things.sniff-sniff

Lot's of Lick's

Sam Iam said...

Next time you decide to go for a run let me know so I can join you,You look like you had an AWESOME time.sniff-sniff

Lot's of Lick's

Sam Iam said...

What AWESOME pictures.It's always nice to meet new paw-pals thank you for stopping by and sharing,Save a snow ball for me.sniff-sniff

Lot's of Lick's

Cami said...

What a beautiful face you have Sam - we are glad you posted on our site - woof - Cami & Runner

Sophie Brador said...

Sam, You are clearly brilliant and literate beyond your brain size. But watch that standing up when you're under the coffee table. You don't want to rattle anything. Thanks for the glossary!

Freda said...

Hey Sams,

The fillosofter strikes again. I like the 'Goose Bump', 'Lean' and 'Love', my favs. But that 'Thunder' stuffs...

What a great picture. Is that a pastels?



Ayatollah Mugsy said...

I was forcibly bathed today. But I got my revenge by attaching my leash to the humans and marching them around the neighborhood, stopping at each and every mailbox.

Jasper said...

How KEWL!!

Isabella said...

Grab your leash and head down to my place. We can eat biscotti and then go down to the art show in Key West. We can bark at that big metal rooster. Then we can lay on the beach and drink rum drinks as we listen to Jimmy Buffett music.
Big Wags,

Jasper said...

Hey Sam,
Did you R E A L L Y fart soap bubbles one time????!?!?!
Tewheehehe...that is funny!!!

Flossikens said...

Hello Sam =]

It is good to hear from you =]

p.s I am infact a girl doggie, not a boy

love flossy

Jazz and Dixie said...

Hi Sam,
Thanks for the Birthday wishes and for stopping by our blog.
Jazz and Dixie

Professor Howdy said...

Sam - My blog is your blog!!!

4xBs said...

hi Sam, those are great! we especially like the bicycle. hee hee. exactly what Bailey would do!


Crikit, Sparky & Ginger said...

Brilliant Sam jus brillian

Love Licks & waggin tails who hit their head lots when they stand up under the table dawg it hurts everytime!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

This is the dearest dearest post!
Delightful and so true, too! LOL!

Thank you for your very sweet Christmas wishes...And I say Back 'Atcha!

Boo Boo said...

this post is just so good !!!

I like the bed !!! But my humans just dont get it sometiems ... darnnnn

Chelsea said...

Thanks for all the definitions. They were very helpful. Not to me but, to my mama. She has a different perspective on what all that stuff means.


Chelsea the supermodel

Lorenza said...

Hi, Sam!
I agree with all your descriptions! I guess sometimes humans don't understand us!
My best wishes for you and your family this Next Year!
Kisses and hugs

PS I'd be happy if you put my link in your blog!

Frasier said...

Hi sam,
Those are great descriptions !
Mommys brother' s name is Sam too!

happy said...

Hi Sam! That's really funny. Just dropping in to say hello.

Gus and Louie said...

We love the trash can too. Mom always says what goes in the trash stays in the trash but we have exceptions to that rule!

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus and Louie

Professor Howdy said...

Your blog looks great tonight.
Sure hope you are doing well
and hope you come back for
a visit sometime soon. I'll
try to post something funny
for you and your many friends:O)

Dr. Howdy

P.S. Here's some blogs & videos
that I found of interest as
I negotiated my way through

Every Student
My Blog Video
Religion Comparison
Avoid This Place
Danish Cartoons
Arabic Cartoons
Muhammad or Jesus???
Answering Islam
Is Jesus God?
A Short Look At Six World Religions
God's Word in different languages...
How to become a Christian
Who Is Jesus?
See The Word
Watch The Jesus Movie
Spanish Cartoons
German Cartoons
Chinese Cartoons
Italian Cartoons
Greek Cartoons
Japanese Cartoons
Portuguese Cartoons
Many Languages
Around the Well
French Cartoons
Hindi Cartoons
Russian Cartoons
Little Girl
Get Saved?
You & Sin City
Mysterious Disappearance
Evolution Video
The Departure
You Need To See This
'Thought & Humor'

Ronak said...

Sam, where have you disappeared to? I miss you!

lin said...


Willy said...

Toot - something I do when everyone is relaxed and they need to jump up and wave their hands and grab their noses.

Willy has a blue weimeramer and she does get gas.

10-4 Willy

Anonymous said...

I'm going to print this out and tape it to the refrigerator, I think, to help me think like a dog while dealing with the Husky.
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dog beds and more