Friday, December 29, 2006












THINGS A DOG MUST REMEMBER

1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

2. I should not suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa, or under the bed.

4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

5. I will not eat the cats' food, either before they eat it or after they throw it up.

6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to be sick.

7. I will not throw up in the car.

8. When at the beach, I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. no matter how good they smell.

9. Kitty box crunches, although tasty, are not food.

10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then re-deposit them after processing, in the back yard .

11. The nappy bin is not a cookie jar.

12. My humans' toothbrushes are for the exclusive use of my humans. If they want me to have one, they'll get me one.

13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, so that when I throw up, my people will not assume I am hemorrhaging.

14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down onrainy days .

15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

16. I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

17. The sofa is not a face towel, neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

20. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

21. To avoid having a string hang out of my butt, I will not eat mint-flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage.

22.I will not consider rolling around in the dirt a necessity first thing after getting a bath

23. I will remember that sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way to greet visitors.

24. I will not hump on any human leg, no matter how attractive .

25. I will not fart in my owner's face while I am sleeping on the pillow next to their heads.

11 comments:

Isabella said...

Dang, Sam- you are giving up all the good things in life! Better re-think all those resolutions.
Happy New Year!
Big Wags-
Isabella

Sam Iam said...

Isabella ~
Happy New Years.Iknow you got lots of treats.sniff-sniff

Lot's of Lick's
Sam

Justin said...

good stuff out there! you are a nice doggy. And hey, my 2 dogs have also taken certain oaths this year New Year's Resolutions!

Marvin The Dog said...

Saw your post on Miss Sunshade's blog Sam I Am - Beta Blogging takes time and much patience.

We nearly finished with the blogging just before Christmas as it was causing us such problems.

But it does get better, honest!

Our internet is very slow at the moment.....so Beta and slow internet does not help Blogging!

Also we have Firefox, and it keeps shutting us down, Jeannie says she wants to HOWL AT THE MOON sometimes with it all!

Love and licks, Marvin xxxxxx

Sam Iam said...

justin
we are glad that somr dogs have good oaths to go by ..

Sam Iam said...

Marvin~
Wishing you a Happy New Year ..beta has been a problem for my humans my human took Firefox off.was doing the same thing.I wants to HOWL AT THE MOON also..sniff-sniff

Lot's of Lick's
Sam

fee said...

o, forget the no-no list! happy new year sam! i hope you're having fun and breaking all the rules!

loves,
fee

*Kyra* said...

Hey Sam! You look so gorgeous especially in your picture with the lights around you!

Happy New Year!

Freda said...

Hey Sam,

I loves the photo.

You are such a fillosofter and I like the new looks.

Wuufs!

Freda

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JackPDB said...

Good luck with all that, pal. Here's to stolen treats and small prey to chase in this New Year.
- - - - - - -
Jack@PDB
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